I, genus, the unofficial best pokemon trainer on tsc, took on Quartz in an endearing battle of wits. I wrote this before the battle begin. I so hope I lose just for the sake of the hilarity. I'm sure someone will get burned by an unexpected critical or completely nonsensical ailment. That's what makes pokemon so fun!
I took no risks and led off with mighty Kingdra, while Quartz sent out his vicious Gardevoir. I switched in Drapion, and Quartz used psychic for no effect. Quartz switched to Jirachi, who took a small bit of damage from a Drapion night slash. Next turn, Drapion used Earthquake, knocking Jirachi's health to 1/4, and Jirachi used doom desire. Drapion eq'd again...right into a Togekiss switch. I had Drapion use Ice Fang, knocking Togekiss to 3/4 health while Quartz had Togekiss use Air Slash. In an intense moment, that combined with doom desire feinted Drapion!
I switched in Jolteon. He thunderbolted into a Rhyperior switch. A pox! At this point I am thinking: "eh, at least Rhyperior is slow, so I can throw someone like Togekiss at him for the ko".
My next course of action was to bring in Togekiss. Rhyperior used Rock Polish. I had no idea what to do. I expected Rhyperior to outspeed Togekiss, and only hoped its hp was high enough to endure a hit. Next turn, he used Stone Edge, resulting in a ohko on Togekiss. Dusknoir was called in to fight, and used Confuse Ray after taking a Rhyperior earthquake for almost 1/2 health. With his handy dandy leftovers, Dusknoir gained some back. The next turn, I opted for a risky Mean Look. Rhyperior pulled off an Earthquake, knocking Dusknoir to 64 health. Leftovers brought him to 82. Earthquake ko'd Dusknoir before he got the chance to use Destiny Bond. At this point my prospects were grim, having 3 pokemon not known for their stellar defense.
My next choice was to bring in the stolid fighter Machamp. Rhyperior dished out an eq for around 200 damage, and was brought to a hair's breadth of feinting from a Dynamic Punch. Machamp used Bullet Punch for the ko.
Quartz brought in Gardevoir. Sensing an impending feint, I had Machamp use Bullet Punch. Sure enough, Gardevoir used psychic to knock out Machamp. I was left with Jolteon and Kingdra against 5 of Quartz' pokemon, one on the verge of feinting and another still at a solid 5/6 health. In a popular phrase: I was screwed.
Jolteon came out to hopefully smack Gardevoir around. Jolteon used twave to lead, paralyzing Gardevoir. And then himself. Guess what popular pokemon has synchronize?
Jolteon thunderbolted, knocking gardevoir to around 1/10 health. Gardevoir twitched. Jolteon used thunderbolt and ko'd gardevoir. Quartz decided to bring in Sceptile. Sceptile got off a swift Earthquake for the knock out, leaving me with bare Kingdra against 4 pokemon, one unknown.
Kingdra came in to hopefully take a pokemon with it. Sceptile used Sword Dance, and Kingdra followed up with Ice Beam. Ice beam brought Sceptile down to 1/12 health. I sighed, knowing poor Kingdra was about to be knocked out. Then, in a 10% miracle on my part, ice beam froze it. Being frozen, Sceptile had little to do but be feinted by ice beam on the next turn.
Quartz brought out Togekiss. Kingdra used Ice Beam, and defeated poor Togekiss. My jaw gaped open. So, I imagine, did the jaw of Quartz. Togekiss is a walling beast with hp and special defense through the roof, and Kingdra isn't cream of the crop in terms of its special attack. I'm not complaining, though
It was Jirachi's turn. Kingdra surfed, leaving Jirachi alive by a thread. Jirachi followed this up with a zen headbutt, bringing Kingdra to roughly 1/2 health. On the next turn, a Kingdra surf defeated it.
Absol came out. This was an interesting moment for me. Quartz and I had both discussed how cool Absol is in terms of attack (and looks, it's probably one of the coolest looking pokemon next to old school Ninetails), but how the lack of speed, defense, and hp are cripplers for its use. I suggested him giving Absol sucker punch. I knew Absol would have it in her arsenal, but didn't want to Rain Dance in the off chance Quartz played it cool and used a regular attack move, anticipating my fear of Sucker Punch. Kingdra could surely not take another hit, especially from a 90 power move used by a pokemon with an insanely high attack base. I used Draco Meteor, and held my breath. Quartz made Absol use Sucker Punch.
Guess how it ended?
If you guessed that Kingdra took the attack and was left alive but an astounding 32 hp, then you guessed correctly. If you guessed Draco Meteor missed...then you guessed incorrectly. It hit Absol dead on to defeat Quartz. Then Kingdra's special attack fell.
1-0 Genus
Probably the most intense and luck filled battle I've ever fought.
